I came across this a few weeks ago, adding it to my to-do list, then continually putting it off:
Define your fears, before your goals
A task in negative visualization may seem antithesis to what most positivity, law of attraction, success gurus preach, but, lets give it a try anyway. Here are some of my fears:
- Gapping Void of the Ocean
- Phone calls
- Breaking Ties/Ending Relationships
- Solitary First Steps
- Not having time to relax
- Being unprepared
- Never finding an audience
Creating this list was enlightening. Thinking intellectually about what I was afraid of brought different answers then when I thought about it from a situational point-of-view. What things have I thought about doing, wanted to do, but put off for one reason or another? What did these reasons really break down to?
Watch the video below, where Tim Ferriss talks about this definition of fear, and how truly valid it is. He talks about the idea of setting aside time in a month to live in a way beneath ones means, to determine if that was the worst that could happen, would it really be that bad. That putting oneself in embarrassing, maybe shameful, positions is a valid exercise in preparedness for the reality of it, rather than the idea of it.
Years ago, I quit my $65K job to wander through part-time work to focus on myself. I’ve lived on less than $20K (sometimes much less) since then. Granted, many of things I’d like to do, and find difficult to accomplish, have to do with lack of funds, but if I were in the position that had the money, I wouldn’t have the energy, or time, to do those things anyway. Finding a more efficient income, without losing myself to it, is one of my newer goals.
So, I’ve taken the financial plunge. I know, first-hand, that this lack of money, one of the greatest fear anyone living in western culture experiences, has greatly increased my quality of life. Fear of being broke is something I’ve conquered, putting me in a unique perspective when giving thoughts to people who hate their places in life.
Not that it makes me better in any way. Even without the financial fear, there’s still a similar fear that keeps me from moving forward, no matter what that may mean (see list above, 4 & 5).
My blogging adventures help battle #8.
Writing this list, and this post, helps me stop avoiding. While not a fear, avoidance is still a major problem in decision-making – or the lack there of (see 9).
Need further help with this exercise? Follow Tim’s column exercise at about 3:50.